The Muslim wife has to understand that her anger directed at her husband constitutes la’nat (Allah’s Curse) for her.
It does not behove her to display anger and displeasure in the face of her husband regardless of any dislike she may have for any of his acts. With humility and patience should she tolerate his shortcomings and even his injustice. Her humble acceptance of her husband’s excesses will bring the Pleasure of Allah Ta’ala cascading on her. The wife has much to gain by her patience. Her demonstration of anger and displeasure will never benefit her in any way. On the contrary, she will turn her husband’s heart away from her. She will, by means of showing anger, extinguish his feelings of love and affection for her. Let alone anger, the Muslim wife should not even sulk or show indifference or demonstrate any type of attitude or feeling which clouds the pleasure of her husband. Ill-temper is not compatible with a true Muslim wife. It is the incumbent duty of the wife to always make the husband happy. She has to ensure that he stays happy, for his happiness is her happiness.
Her happiness is inseparable from his happiness. This attitude is the basis of her piety and the means for her to gain the proximity and the pleasure of Allah Ta’ala. Hence Rasullullah (Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam) said: “The best woman is she who makes her husband feel happy when he glances at her……” Unfortunately gross ignorance of the Shariah, further aggravated by the adoption of the liberal ways of western culture have transformed the Muslim woman and she is increasingly becoming defeminized in the same way as her western counterpart.
Thus, far from being a solace and a source of happiness, she on the contrary, clouds his happiness, mars his peace and brings about frustration and despondency in him by her western – acquired attributes of “emancipation”, liberalism, self-expression and self-projection – all baneful qualities in diametric confrontation with the Islamic concept of wifehood.
The consequences of a wife’s attitude of unpleasantness and ill temperare spiritually calamitous for herself. Apart from the darkness which settles over the home, neither her Salaat nor any of her righteous deeds is accepted by Allah Ta’ala. The woman who angers her husband invites the Wrath of Allah Ta’ala, hence her deeds of virtue are rebuffed and find no entry into the heavens. By non-acceptance of Salaat is meant the non-availability of thawaab (reward). Her bad attitude towards her husband destroys the thawaab of her good acts. Non-acceptance here does not mean, that the Salaat is not valid, hence to be performed again. The Salaat remains valid inspite of it being shorn of the blessings and thawaab. Thus, her roohani (spiritual) success is also tied to her efforts directed towards achieving her husband’s pleasure.
Her husband is in fact the key to her success of her Deen and Dunya.
Al-Maratus-Saalihah – The Pious Wife