Ummati Islamic Website
Related Articles
Online Edition | Vol. 3 No. 3 Thul Hijjah 1417/ April 1997 |
| Disturbing Trend on the Marital Front |
| An English daily from Jeddah recently carried a report highlighting a disturbing trend in Saudi society. Based on some case studies, the paper points out that both Saudi boys and girls are giving preference to superficial materialistic values in their choice of partners. |
| In separate interviews with members of both groups, the paper adds that boys determine their marital choice on thebasis of fair complexion, good looks and educational background of thegirl. The latter, on the other hand, places accent on the financial and social understanding of the prospective groom, the type of car he drives, the countries he has travelled, and his overall personality. Character does not figure in these considerations. |
| Western influence |
| This is an unfortunate trend, which shows that Western values are creeping into Muslim societies. To start with, the onslaught on the Islâmic culture began with the fast food outlets. Together with TV and video, they popularised the Western concept of what has come to be known as the TV dinner. Like the yuppies of the West, the upwardly mobile executives in Muslim societies have also developed a taste for Western values, which they regard as status symbol. Newsweek has aptly described yup-pies as “a generation focussed on careerand thelatest cuisine.” |
| Islâmic criteria |
| These young Muslim executives have been so badly sucked into the mire of materialism that it has become necessary to remind them of the true Islâmic perspective on marriage. The Prophet Muhammad Sallallâhu alaihi wasallam said: “A woman is married, for four qualities: viz. her wealth, family status, her beauty and her religion. So you should marry the religious woman, otherwise you will be a loser.” (Sahih Al Bukhari). |
| According to another Hadîth narrated by Sahl bin Sa’d (R.A.), a woman presented herself to the Prophet Sallallâhu alaihi wasallam and said: “O Apostle of Allah! I have come to give myself in marriage (without mahr). “Allâh’s Apostle Sallallâhu alaihi wasallam looked at her carefully and then lowered his head. When the lady saw that, he did not say anything, she sat down. A man from his companions got up and said, “O Allâh’s Apostle! If you are not in need of her, then marry her to me.” The Prophet Sallallahu alaihi wasallam said: “Have you got anything to offer her?” The man said: “No, by Allâh, O Allâh’s Apostle.” The Prophet Sallallâhu alaihi wasallam said: “Go to your family and see if you have something.” He went and returned saying, “No, by Allâh, I have not found anything.” So the man sat down for a long while, then got up to leave. When Allâh’s Apostle Sallallâhu alaihi wasallam saw him leaving, he ordered him to be called back. When he came, the Prophet said: “How much of the Qur’ân do you know (by heart)?” The man replied, “I know such surâh and such surâh (by heart)”- naming the surâhs. The Prophet Sallallâhu alaihi wasallam said: “Go, I many her to you for what you know of the Qur’ân.” |
| Results |
| These two sayings make it abundantly clear how much importance is attached to the strength of character and conduct in Islâm. Personal wealth and beauty are ephemeral values subject to the vissitudes of time. It is only the strength of character that shows up at dark tunnel. A look at the Western scenario shows how marriages have been folding up under the stress of materialistic values. Their marriages have become devoid of any norms of affection with the result that single parents have come into vogue. This has caused instability in western societies with consequences that are evident in the form of growing illicit relations and the scourge of AIDS. |
| Sexually transmitted diseases In these societies have be hpp’g at such an alarming rate that even the UN agencies have started extolling the virtues of moral sexuality. It is time our Muslim youth should be taught the basics of Islâmic values during their formative years so that they graduate into adulthood fortified with the Islâmic spirit. |
| Marriage is not based on superficial values of wealth, beauty or social standing. Nor is it a revolving door through which marriage partners pass in quick succession. It is a permanent bond with family ties acting as the glue. |
| Any attempt on the part of our Muslim youth to subvert these time-tested values will only backfire on them. They only need to look at their Western counterparts to realise the heavy price they have to pay in the long run |
Disturbing Trend on the Marital Front
