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Question: Can I shake my cousins hand? We are brought up in such a way, we feel we can never marry our cousins. There is absolutely no attractions between us.
Answer:
In Surah at-Tahrim, Allah Ta’alaa says in the first verse:
لِمَ تُحَرِّمُ مَاۤ اَحَلَّ اللّٰهُ لَكَ
“Why do you make Haraam that which Allah Ta’alaa has made Halaal for you”
This is a common misconception which families claim such unity which goes against the laws of Allah Ta’alaa. In such instances it is imperative to break these false beliefs and follow the Shariah. The Shariah was designed by our Creator and will obliterate anything that opposes it. Thus it has to be followed. To marry your maternal/paternal cousin is totally permissible. In the above mentioned verse, Allah Ta’alaa addresses Nabi Sallallahu ‘alaihi wa Sallam with “یٰۤاَیُّهَا النَّبِیُّ” – “O Nabi”. This was when Rasulullah Sallallahu ‘alaihi wa Sallam vowed not to eat honey due to a specific incident that took place between the wives of Rasulullah Sallallahu ‘alaihi wa Sallam.
You are allowed to marry your cousin and you are not a Mahram for her. It is Kufr and a severe punishment will be unleashed upon such people who wish to mess or give false understandings of the Shariah. Strict pardah has to be practiced between male and female cousins.
Now once it is clear that you are not a Mahram for her to touch her hand is totally forbidden. Now look at the words of Rasulullah Sallallahu ‘alaihi wa Sallam:
Ma’qil ibn Yasar Radhiyallahu anhu reported: The Messenger of Allah Sallallahu ‘alaihi wa Sallam, said:
“For a nail of iron to be driven in the head of one of you would be better for him than to touch a woman who is not lawful for him.”
Source: al-Mu’jam al-Kabīr 16910
عن مَعْقِل بْن يَسَارٍ قَالَ قَالَ رَسُولُ اللَّهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ لأَنْ يُطْعَنَ فِي رَأْسِ أَحَدِكُمْ بِمِخْيَطٍ مِنْ حَدِيدٍ خَيْرٌ لَهُ مِنْ أَنْ يَمَسَّ امْرَأَةً لا تَحِلُّ لَهُ
16910 المعجم الكبير للطبراني
